Gay But Make It Capitalism: Why Every Brand Wants a Piece of the Rainbow

Ah, Pride Month. That magical time of year when companies suddenly remember LGBTQ+ people exist, drape their logos in rainbow gradients, and hit us with slogans like “Love is Love”—as if that phrase alone will erase decades of corporate discrimination.

But let’s be honest: there’s something hilarious (and slightly tragic) about seeing a bank that once refused loans to same-sex couples now selling Pride-themed credit cards. Or fast-food chains slapping rainbows on their packaging as if a Pride Burger™ will somehow fix homophobia.

So, what’s really going on? Why do brands go all-out for LGBTQ+ folks every June and then ghost us like a bad Tinder date by July 1st? And more importantly—how do we tell the real allies from the rainbow-washed opportunists? Let’s investigate.

Welcome to Rainbow Capitalism™️

Picture this: It’s June 1st. You wake up, grab your phone, and BAM—your inbox is flooded with emails from brands you forgot existed.

“Happy Pride! Celebrate with 10% off our Pride Collection!”
“Because you’re FABULOUS, here’s a limited-edition Pride tote bag!”
“Show your true colors! Buy our Pride-themed sneakers (only $129.99)!”

This, my friends, is Rainbow Capitalism™️ in action: the annual corporate rebranding where businesses drench themselves in rainbow aesthetics, pretend they’ve been allies since Stonewall, and—most importantly—use our identity to sell us stuff.

At first glance, it might seem like progress. More visibility = more acceptance, right? But here’s the thing: visibility without substance is just a marketing gimmick. And corporations? Oh, they love a good gimmick.

From Villain to Ally: A Convenient Makeover

If you ever want a laugh, take a look at how some of these companies used to treat LGBTQ+ people before they discovered Pride merch was profitable.

• The same banks that now sponsor Pride parades? Yeah, some of them denied LGBTQ+ couples joint bank accounts for decades.
• That clothing brand selling Pride hoodies? Just a few years ago, they were donating to politicians pushing anti-LGBTQ+ laws.
• That fast-food chain dropping rainbow fries? Their CEO once donated to organizations that fought against same-sex marriage.

So why the sudden change of heart? Well, spoiler alert: it’s not about allyship, it’s about capitalism. The LGBTQ+ community represents a $1.1 trillion consumer market in the U.S. alone. And where there’s money to be made, brands will show up real quick.

How to Spot a Rainbow-Washing Scammer

Now, not every company is faking it. Some brands genuinely support LGBTQ+ rights year-round. But others? They’re just here for the clout (and our wallets). Here’s how to separate the real allies from the rainbow-washed opportunists:

Do They Actually Support LGBTQ+ People Year-Round?

A brand’s Pride campaign might be flashy, but ask yourself: What do they do outside of June? If their support vanishes the moment July 1st hits, congrats—you’ve spotted a Seasonal Ally™.

Are They Putting Their Money Where Their Rainbow Is?

Sure, a Pride-themed sneaker looks cute, but is the brand donating to LGBTQ+ organizations? If not, they’re just monetizing queerness without giving back.

Are They Actively Undoing Harm?

Some companies love selling us Pride merch while funding politicians who actively work against LGBTQ+ rights. If they’re donating to anti-LGBTQ+ campaigns but still want queer dollars, it’s giving hypocrite energy.

Do They Support LGBTQ+ Employees?

It’s cool if a company changes its logo to a rainbow, but if their queer employees are facing workplace discrimination or don’t have inclusive benefits, then… what are we doing here?

The Funniest (And Fakest) Pride Campaigns We’ve Seen

Every year, brands come up with wild ways to cash in on Pride. Some are laughably bad, while others are downright dystopian. A few favorites:

• Rainbow Listerine – Because nothing screams “LGBTQ+ support” like minty fresh breath.
• The “Gay Wrappers” from Burger King – They literally just put their normal burger in a rainbow wrapper and called it allyship.
• A “Gender-Neutral” Energy Drink – As if LGBTQ+ people were sitting around saying, “You know what’s missing from this movement? A queer-friendly Monster Energy.”
• Nike’s Pride Collection (Made in Countries That Criminalize Homosexuality) – Ah, yes. Celebrate queerness while exploiting labor in places where LGBTQ+ people have zero rights.

The audacity is truly inspiring.

Brands That Actually Get It Right

To be fair, some brands do go beyond the rainbow aesthetics and actually support the LGBTQ+ community in meaningful ways. A few examples:

Ben & Jerry’s – Not only do they release pro-LGBTQ+ flavors, but they also advocate for policy change and donate to queer organizations.

LEGO – Their “Everyone is Awesome” set wasn’t just cute; it was designed by an LGBTQ+ employee to represent diversity in a meaningful way.

The Body Shop – Actively hires LGBTQ+ people, donates to queer causes, and advocates for real policy changes.

The difference? These brands don’t just show up when it’s convenient—they support the community all year long.

So… Should We Just Cancel Every Brand?

Not necessarily. Buying a Pride-themed T-shirt isn’t a crime, and let’s be real—some of the merch is kinda cute. The real issue isn’t that companies want to sell LGBTQ+ people products; it’s that many of them only support us when it benefits them.

So, what can we do?

1. Call them out – If a brand is profiting off Pride but actively harming LGBTQ+ people, let’s make some noise. Social media makes it easier than ever to demand accountability.
2. Support queer-owned businesses – Why buy a rainbow shirt from a mega-corporation when you can get one from a small LGBTQ+ designer?
3. Follow the money – Before giving your cash to a brand, check where their profits are going. Are they funding LGBTQ+ causes, or are they backing anti-queer politicians?

Is Rainbow Capitalism All Bad?

Here’s the complicated truth: rainbow capitalism is both frustrating and kind of inevitable. On one hand, it feels gross when brands profit off queerness without actually supporting LGBTQ+ rights. On the other hand, mainstream visibility has helped normalize LGBTQ+ identities in ways that were once unthinkable.

But visibility without action isn’t enough. We deserve more than rainbow logos and cringey Pride campaigns—we deserve actual support, policy change, and year-round allyship.

So, the next time a brand tries to sell you a Pride-themed toaster, ask yourself: Are they here for the movement, or just the money? And then decide if your queer dollars should stay in your queer pockets.

Because let’s face it—we’ve been fabulous long before corporations figured out how to profit off it.